Small talk vs Big talk

First I thought, that having one small talk would be enough with you. Just saying,

 hello... do you still remember me? 

how can I forget you? 

Anyway, what's going on these days?

Just doing some works...

Bye...

Bye...

But I was dying and spent sleepless nights full of tears after this small talk. Day by day, I realized how much I love you. I don't want small talk with you. 

I need big talk.

I need to spend at least one hour with you, in a place where no one can see us, hear us besides the coldness of wet wind and tears of the sky with the lonely surrounding which only giant trees can feel us and the earth can not tolerate us. I need to let you know that you are not a bother to me. I badly want to tell you that we don't deserve each other but we are one of the purest lovers on this earth. I want to make your shirt's collar wet with my tears.  I want to see your tearful eyes which try to stop crying. Beginning of the last hug by saying let's just stay a little longer like this. And separate after sharing many thoughts about how we love each other. 

Can you stay like this? without big talk? Can you put a full stop by just a regular bye of a small talk? Is our story that simple? No... It's hard to stay like this, we need to put the full stop for our heavy story from a big talk. A heavy talk to release our heavy feelings.

Darling, I'm sinking ... save me❤